The Chinese Government are perhaps the most human of all governments. What I mean by that is that they just do whatever the have to do...and bugger the consequences..….

Take conservation for example. The Yangtze River is a disgusting annoyance for the Chinese Government. Yes it is one of the longest rivers in the world and home to a number of beautiful aquatic creatures, but all that was getting in the way of the proposed construction of the, frankly amazingly large Yangtze Dam. Environmental Advocates everywhere fainted.

Now, a similar thing was happening in Australia, the planned construction of a resort on the Ningaloo Reef. All the environmental types had to produce was a few turtles living in the area and that was that. The resort plans were shredded into confetti, and used by everyone at the resultant parade.

So, using the same technique, some environmental advocates decided to produce a dolphin and say “Ah well, dolphins live here, the dam could harm them, I’m afraid you know what you have to do..”…. Indeed the Government did know.... They Shot them.

Case closed. Dolphins dead, Dam goes ahead.

"Flipper Never saw it coming..."

Tibetan Monks? Old bald blokes chanting about peace? Not in the eyes of the Chinese Government. The Dalai Lama? Terrorist. What do you do with terrorists? I don’t know…. The Chinese thought maybe setting them on fire would be good. So they Did.

The Chinese government’s logic determined that these talks about Peace were actually about Warmongering.  

Peace leads to Fun. Fun leads to Merriment. Merriment leads to Hijinks, Hijinks leads to Criminal Behavior, and Criminal Behavior leads to war. A rather convoluted, but ultimately satisfying equation for the Chinese Government.

So, in the eyes of the Chinese Government, everybody needs to be controlled for there own safety, none of this free will, let peace be the answer clap trap. If everyone is depressed, they won’t feel like doing anything, and no one will rock the boat.

Case Closed. Fun dead, the maintained order of things goes ahead.

Now, this is a little extreme, but it is perhaps, the best example of what it means to be human. A real human, none of this pearly white teeth, kabala loving stuff…

A human’s sole responsibility in life is there own and (to a lesser extant) there immediate families well being. So, they will do whatever it takes to make sure that nothing upsets that, …. So, using that analogy, you start to see how all of china’s actions make sense to china.

The Human is the government, and his immediate family is china. They need a dam. I don’t know why, but they need one. But there are these bloody dolphins, threatening they’re family…. So….you do what you have to do…..eradicate Flipper.

But, unfortunately, for that analogy to truly work, everybody would have to be willing to kill a dolphin and set fire to old bald blokes in sandals, and seeing as how people don’t even like to smack children anymore, shooting a dolphin is perhaps a tad unlikely........

"Dolphins are safe.... For Now.."